Random Thoughts
Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Blogging in Secret

I have been pondering the concept of blogging. After reading somebody's blog who I never met before, I began really thinking, I know this person's deepest feelings about his life but yet don't even know who this person is. Letting anyone who wants to enter your life through your word is sort of strange concept. I started the whole blog thing out of sharing my humorous bits so my friends could laugh not really realizing that so many other people that I don't even know could be reading the thoughts of my struggles and my life thoughts. I then thought maybe its a good idea for people to blog to those that don't even know you, you can really open up and not be afraid they will judge you on their own previous knowledge of your acts or words. Blogging to strangers maybe makes it easier to set out your true feelings about your life, having the audience not knowing who you are talking about you are not afraid you will hurt anyone's feelings you might offend. I want to be real in my blog but I don't know if I want everyone to know my business all the time and if i write something i don't want someone to get offended if i am just blowing off a little steam...... Right now I can only blog out scenes of sharing and bring a filtered version of my thoughts.


Posted by: cynthia
Time:10:09 AM
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Thursday, June 16, 2005

Some Bad Religion for Tim

It has been almost two months since i have last blogged and since Tim's death. I have almost come to gribs with the reality of it all, although it is hard to know that i will never be able to have the unfinished conversations with him again. I went to go see Bad Religion last night at the Ventura Theatre, one of Tim's favorite bands. I realized that the last time I was in that building was for Tim's funeral, a very odd realization that my friend's death brought in more people than the very band he loved had. As they played during the night I could only think of Tim and how he would have enjoyed seeing them live but he couldn't. When 'Sorrow' was played, my mind drifted in seeing Tim's life run through my mind, chills ran through the back of my spine as the guitar started with the first opening of the song. Everytime i now hear that song it makes me think of Tim. That song says a lot about life and is a song to be pondered on.

Father can you hear me?
How have I let you down?
I curse the day that I was born and all the sorrow in this world

Let me take you to the herding ground
where all good men are trampled down
Just to settle a bet that could not be won
between a prideful father and his son

Will you guide me now for I can't see a reason
for the suffering and this long misery
What if every living soul could be upright and strong?
Well then I do imagine

There will be (sorrow)
Yeah there will be (sorrow)
And there will be sorrow no more

When all soldiers lay their weapons down
or when all kings and all queens relinquish their crowns
Or when the only true messiah rescues us from ourselves it's easy to imagine

There will be (sorrow)
Yeah there will be (sorrow)
And there will be sorrow no more

There will be (sorrow)
Yeah there will be (sorrow)
And there will be sorrow no more

Yeah there will be (sorrow)
Yeah there will be (sorrow)
And there will be sorrow no more


Posted by: cynthia
Time:9:58 AM
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